Sexual fantasy is like any other area of human sexual experience — the more you know about it, the more comfortable and relaxed you are considering what role, if any, you want it to play in your life.
This checklist is a great way to test, and increase, your knowledge about sexual fantasies. If you’re in a relationship, consider making it a fun exercise by taking turns responding to each item. The checklist can help open discussion and create mutual understandings that in turn can enhance your sexual experiences.
Did you know this?
__ 1. Nearly all men and women sexually fantasize.
__ 2. Sexual thoughts occur in daydreaming, masturbation, and during sexual activity with a partner.
__ 3. Sexual fantasy is enabled by the hormone testosterone.
__ 4. Sexual fantasies range from fleeting sensory thoughts to highly developed sexual scenarios that play like porn movies or scenes in romance novels.
__ 5. Some people employ a little fantasy in sex while others employ a lot.
__ 6. Some sexual fantasies are intentionally created or recalled to enhance arousal, while others spontaneously arise as products of the excitation and trance state induced by sexual arousal.
__ 7. Sometimes sexual fantasies can be so powerful they produce an orgasm with no physical stimulation.
__ 8. Sexual fantasies vary from being a random, inconsequential form of entertainment – fun fluff – to being very specific, emotionally profound, and psychologically impactful.
__ 9. Like dreams, sexual fantasies can reflect unconscious desires, fears, curiosities, regrets, challenges, and needs.
__ 10. The inner world of sexual fantasy is like an imaginary playground where erotic thoughts can run wild, free from social condemnation, and harmful consequences.
__ 11. Like dreams, sexual fantasies have subconscious elements, themes, symbols, functions, that when explored, may have little to do with sex.
__ 12. Sexual fantasies can be easily influenced and shaped by actual sexual experiences, as well as by the sexual imagery and ideas found in books, television, movies, magazines, and pornography.
__ 13. In general, sexual fantasies help to increase sexual arousal while decreasing sexual anxiety.
__ 14. Sexual fantasies can function in a variety of ways that go beyond simply increasing sexual arousal. For example, they can enhance self-esteem, rehearse possibilities, recall fond memories, satisfy curiosities, facilitate relaxation, help cope with past trauma, and more.
__ 15. Like with dreams, it is up to the person who creates the sexual fantasy to determine what it means and how it is impacting their lives.
__ 16. People describe a sexual fantasy as problematic for numerous reasons, such as when it decreases their self-esteem, conflicts with personal values, interferes with being sensually present, decreases intimacy with a partner, encourages risky and harmful activity, and more.
__ 17. Like with nightmares, some sexual fantasies are troublesome and cause continuing distress until they can be psychologically examined, understood, and changed.
__ 18. It’s helpful when both people in a relationship are educated about sexual fantasies before sharing and discussing them, to avoid misunderstandings about what they mean.
__ 19. People can be disappointed when acting out a sexual fantasy because in real life, unlike in the realm of fantasy, it’s impossible to control and choreograph all factors, elements, and repercussions of the sexual experience.
__ 20. In general, sexual fantasy is a magnificent human capability that serves as a powerful aide and pleasurable accompaniment to sexual experience.
© Copyright by Wendy Maltz for HealthySex.com
