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Committing to a Personal Journey of Sexual Healing

Posted on May 31, 2022 by Lily McAndrews - Sexual Abuse Healing, Understanding Sexual Fantasies

What does it feel like to suffer the emotional and sexual repercussions of abuse? What does it take to make a long-term commitment to sexual health and healing? Nunaisi Ma, host of the international RISE Summits workshops, and Wendy Maltz provide answers in this penetrating discussion about the personal journey of sexual healing. With knowledge and ease, they speak frankly about the experience of being sexually abused and discuss repercussions, such as abuse-related sexual fantasies, not often revealed and addressed. 

Topics covered include:

  1. The importance of caring books and other resources that support survivors who are healing sexually.
  2. The vulnerability of being a child victim of sexual abuse.
  3. The insidious nature of abuse that was gentle and called “love.”
  4. Confusions from experiencing orgasm the first time during abuse.
  5. Feeling separate and disconnected from one’s own body.
  6. The repercussion of having troublesome sexual fantasies of abuse.
  7. The powerful techniques that can be used to heal abusive fantasies.
  8. The intimate betrayal of disclosing abuse as a child and not being believed.
  9. The strength and support it takes get away from an abuser and find safety.
  10. Societal messages and harmful influences that can get in the way of sexual healing.
  11. The importance of choosing a path towards sexual health and happiness. 
  12. The huge benefits of becoming sexually whole and comfortable in your own skin. 

Note: The section on abuse-related sexual fantasies and healing techniques happens in the first 15 minutes.

Watch and listen to this engaging conversation below:


Partners in Healing: Couples Overcoming the Sexual Repercussions of Incest

Posted on April 6, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Sexual Abuse Healing

This forty-three-minute videotape was produced in 1988 by Wendy Maltz, Steve Christiansen, and Gerald Joffee. It features three couples, one with a male survivor, discussing sexual healing. The video is understandably dated – Wendy looks like a teenager! – it still conveys the types of challenges couples face when a partner in a relationship was previously sexually abused. Confronting an abuser is discussed in the video. Please note that it is not always a good idea, so it is best to only consider such a move under the guidance of a trained therapist. This video is helpful for partners who want to understand the impact of abuse on their relationship and how they can work with the survivor to heal.

Praise for Partners in Healing

“Well done, interesting and compelling. . . high impact, but not sensationalized.”
–Joseph Lo Piccolo, Ph.D., University of Missouri Sexuality Program

“A well-organized program. The couples are articulate and address a variety of problems. Wendy is excellent. . . a clear, natural and caring presentation.”
–Lonnie Barbach, Ph.D., author, For Yourself and For Each Other

“My clients have benefited greatly from exploring the issues so effectively raised by the video. Both therapists and clients will find the tape a valuable resource.”
–Eliana Gil, Ph.D., Outgrowing the Pain

*** Want to see demonstrations of the relearning touch techniques described in The Sexual Healing Journey? Watch Wendy’s follow-up video, “Relearning Touch: Healing Techniques for Couples,” here


Relearning Touch: Healing Techniques for Couples

Posted on April 6, 2022 by Jennifer Andrews - Featured, Sexual Abuse Healing

Produced by Wendy Maltz, Steve Christiansen, and Gerald Joffee. This forty-five minute video, moderated by Wendy Maltz, sensitively demonstrates the relearning touch techniques that are described in her groundbreaking book, The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse. The video was produced in 1995 and is an outstanding, time-tested treasure. It includes interviews with three couples who have used the techniques to improve communication, deepen emotional intimacy, and create positive sexual experiences. While the three couples featured are white heterosexuals, the exercises demonstrated have been utilized successfully for years by people of all races, nationalities, genders, and sexual orientations. And, although the video addresses the concerns of couples dealing with sexual abuse repercussions, many couples without sexual abuse histories have found the video and the techniques helpful for developing and improving sexual intimacy skills.

Praise for the Relearning Touch video

“As always, Wendy presents a view of sexual intimacy that is loving, healthy, safe, respectful and joyous. Her commentary is informative, reassuring and encouraging.”
–Ellen Bass, coauthor, The Courage to Heal

“Relearning Touch is a wonderful resource for clinicians and clients. It provides many specific exercises that couples and individuals can use to help restore their comfort in their sexuality. It has my highest recommendation.”
–Robert Schwarz, Ph.D., Director of the Institute for Advanced Clinical Training

“Wendy Maltz provides abuse survivors and their partners with clear, practical, and effective techniques that empower survivors to begin reclaiming their birthright of healthy, joyous sexuality.”
–Yvonne Dolan, M.A., Resolving Sexual Abuse

“Wendy Maltz has been a gift to a generation of survivors. Her gentle, helpful resources for reclaiming sexuality have helped many. This video is a great asset to clinicians and recovering people. Insightful, practical, useful, and well presented.”
–Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., C.A.S., The Meadows Institute, Out of the Shadows


Supportive Messages to Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Posted on April 5, 2022 by Lily McAndrews - Sexual Abuse Healing

Personal empowerment is a key focus to have when healing from sexual abuse. After all, by definition, sex abuse is an act that involves a tremendous loss of personal safety and control.

In the following four videos, Wendy Maltz shares beneficial messages to help survivors get started on a healing journey to reclaim their personal power and right to enjoy a healthy sex life, of their own making.

Created for the launch of El viaje para sanar la sexualidad, the Spanish edition of her book, The Sexual Healing Journey, these words provide understanding, encouragement, comfort, and hope.

Message 1 – You are not alone

If you were sexually victimized, you are not alone. It is a sad fact that millions of women and men have experienced this type of trauma and harm.  It is not unusual for sexual abuse to cause problems with sex and intimacy, years after the abuse, especially when you get in a steady relationship. But regardless of your circumstances, recovery is possible and can be achieved. 

Ver con subtítulos en español

Message 2 – You can benefit from good resources 

Intimacy problems do not easily go away on their own. Sexual abuse survivors need to experience caring support and good resources, such as El viaje para sanar la sexualidad, to learn how to heal and create sex that is positive, and very different from abuse.

Message 3 – You don’t have to suffer in silence 

Sexual abuse survivors often suffer in silence, secrecy, and shame — blaming themselves for the abuse, and its impact, even though it was not their fault. Sexual healing involves developing compassion for yourself, taking control of your life now, and being able to create what you want for yourself and your intimate relationship.  

Message 4 – Healing from abuse is worth the effort 

Sexual healing can be challenging. But it’s worth the effort. You learn new ideas, develop compassion for yourself, and practice new approaches to touch and sexual sharing. The good news is that healing is possible, even in this intimate area. 

Sexual health is a gift you give yourself, your relationship, and by extension, your family, and community. When you reclaim your sexuality, you reclaim yourself. 


UCAP Keynote Address: Porn vs. Healthy Sex

Posted on March 26, 2022 by jack - Porn Problem Recovery

Wendy Maltz, the co-author of “The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography”, gives a ground-breaking conference keynote presentation on porn-related intimacy problems at the Utah Coalition Against Pornography (UCAP) annual meeting in April 2009. The information and ideas Wendy shares were relatively new at the time, as they reflect the research that she and her husband/co-author, Larry Maltz, did for their just-released book.

In this talk, Wendy reveals some of the key points made in the The Porn Trap.

Topics covered include:

  1. New technologies changed the nature and delivery of porn
  2. It’s easy to get hooked on porn
  3. Porn can harm in ways you don’t realize when using it
  4. The addictive nature of porn
  5. How porn can hi-jack sexual learning
  6. Healing is possible with a structured recovery process
  7. The sexual benefits of staying away from porn
  8. Learning about healthy sexuality is key to recovery


Porn Recovery and Sexual Intimacy

Posted on January 18, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Featured, Porn Problem Recovery

A powerful and favorite conversation. People recovering from heavy involvement with porn often have questions about sex, love, and relationships. In this engaging video Remojo founder, Jack Jenkins, and Wendy Maltz, coauthor of The Porn Trap, reveal how to make progress in sexual healing from porn’s negative influence. This engaging podcast conversation entitled, “Porn Recovery and Sexual Intimacy,” first aired on the Remojo podcst on 5-24-2021. 

Remojo is a program, based in London, with international reach, that supports people in their recovery from porn. Jack, a former porn user himself, and Wendy have a friendly discussion about the difference between porn-related sex and sex based on self-respect, real caring, and full-body sensuality. Listen in and find out about crucial skills, how to gain them, and the healing strategies and techniques which help facilitate desired change.

Questions covered include:

  1. Why is sharing the fact that I think I have a problem with porn so important?
  2. How can I break my silence, get out of shame, and share safely?
  3. How can I overcome negative messages and talk about sex in positive ways?
  4. Why is it important to assume control of my sexuality – especially as a man?
  5. How come I feel angry and upset over having to quit porn?
  6. How can I tell the difference between my own desires and what porn has conditioned me to want?
  7. How can I be in my body more?
  8. How can I connect my sexual energy with caring and love?
  9. How can I move away from thinking about sex as impulse gratification?
  10. How can I express loving feelings with my body and presence in sex?
  11. What are the benefits of having love-connected, authentic sex in a relationship?
  12. Why is it important to replace porn-related sex with a new way of approaching sex?

Watch this interview here.

or listen to the interview in audio-only format here

Short on time?

Check out these brief Remojo video clips from the interview: 

Porn Doesn’t Have Anything to Do With Love | REMOJO Podcast

Are We Good at Talking About Sex? | REMOJO Podcast   

Conquering the Isolation and Shame of Porn  I REMOJO Podcast

Porn Disconnects Us from Healthy Sexuality | REMOJO Podcast       


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