Audio

Love, Porn, & Senior Sex

Posted on October 21, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Porn Problem Recovery

When Suzanne Noble and Peter Marriott, co-hosts of the internationally popular British podcast, “Sex Advice for Seniors,” posted a video on their associated TikTok channel about how to identify a person who watches too much porn, they were shocked at the gigantic response. Over one million viewers replied to their comment section. Viewers shared stories about the damaging influence of porn in their relationships and lives, and asked lots of questions.

For help, they turned to Wendy Maltz, coauthor of The Porn Trap. Together they created a special podcast episode on love, porn, relationships, and senior sexuality. In it Wendy, Peter, and Suzanne have a thoughtful, witty and informative discussion. They provide insights and answers, and empower people of all ages to become more knowledgable about this highly-charged topic. You’re invited to have a listen.

Topics covered include:

Do young people and older people relate to porn differently?
Does porn impact everyone the same way?
Is porn use always problematic or can it play a positive role in a relationship?
What are the effects on an intimate partner?
What role does deception play in causing problems?
What happens when a person’s porn stash is discovered before, and even after they die?
Is there such a thing as “ethical” or “morally positive” porn?
Can porn use mask sex problems that can be dealt with in other ways?
Why is it up to each individual to determine whether or not they have a problem with porn?
What do you mean by the phrase, “the direction of your erection”?
Why are self-awareness and good communication important when it comes to dealing with porn?

[The Sex Advice for Seniors podcast is published on Substack. This episode is #17 and is entitled, “Love and Porn” Running time: 39 minutes, 10-10-2022.]

Listen here

On Women’s Sexual Fantasies

Posted on July 5, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Understanding Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasy doesn’t have to be a scary or taboo topic. With knowledge and understanding, it becomes a rich resource for sexual enrichment, growth, and enjoyment. This classic radio interview is a great place to start learning. Radio host Ilene Dillon speaks with Wendy Maltz, coauthor of Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women’s Sexual Fantasies. Together, these two seasoned therapists, use wisdom, humor, insight, and story-telling to examine women’s most intimate erotic thoughts. They approach the topic with lively, candid discussion, and reveal how sexual fantasies vary, what they mean, and how to troubleshoot problems with fantasies if they come up personally or with an intimate partner.

Listen to this dynamic interview to find out:

How women’s sexual fantasies differ from men’s
Some common reasons why people sexually fantasize
How sexual fantasizing can reduce anxiety while boosting sexual arousal
Productive ways to think about, define, and categorize sexual fantasies
Why sexual fantasies don’t always conform to one’s actual sexual orientation or identity
How sexual fantasies can reflect different feelings, such as fears, conflicts, as well as desires
The differences between sensory-based fantasies and role-based fantasies
Addressing problems with disturbing, unwanted, and controlling fantasies
How to psychologically explore what a sexual fantasy might mean
How past sexual abuse and other experiences impact sexual fantasies
How sexual fantasy work can facilitate recovery from past hurts and abuse
How to approach the topic of sexual fantasy with a partner
Whether or not it’s a good idea to act out a fantasy
The joys of feeling comfortable with sexual fantasies

To listen to this interview, click on the YouTube below:

Intimate Kisses Poetry Reading

Posted on May 6, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Sex & Love

Every day can be Valentine’s Day when you listen to sexual love poetry. In this cherished recording Wendy returns to KBOO Radio’s beloved Talking Earth Poetry Program for a lovely reading from her second highly-acclaimed anthology of sexual love poems, Intimate Kisses: The Poetry of Sexual Pleasure. This is a special episode to honor and celebrate Valentine’s Day.

The program begins with Barbara LaMorticella, host of Talking Earth, talking with Wendy about how she came to find poems, organize, and produce the collection. Wendy describes how the collection features poems from a diverse group of highly-esteemed contemporary and traditional poets, such as Nikki Giovanni, Marge Piercy, Rumi, Octavio Paz, and Galway Kinnell. They discuss the role of sexual fantasy and imagery in the poems and how the collection features many types of kisses from coffee-flavored kisses to moaning kisses to bones that kiss.

Abigail Albrecht Brandt and Patrick Mulrooney, two Oregon poets whose works are in the collection, join Wendy and Barbara in reading a diverse selection of poems that describe erotically hot and healthy sexual intimacy. This treasured reading is peppered with a sensitive discussion about sexual pleasure and the unique ability of poetry to capture the profound experience of love-making.

The reading explores five areas of sexual pleasure. These five areas correspond with the five chapters in the book:

Anticipation and desire — looking forward to sexual connection
Self-awareness and discovery — learning about ourselves and our partner
Admiration and appreciation — deepening awareness of sensual pleasure
Union and ecstasy — experiencing a profound intimate connection
Afterglow and remembrance — reflecting back on the shared joy

Listen to the Intimate Kisses Poetry Reading below:

This program was originally broadcast on Portland, Oregon’s KBOO radio in 2001.

Learn about Wendy’s first anthology, Passionate Hearts: The Poetry of Sexual Love.

Listen to Wendy’s other interview and poetry reading, the Passionate Hearts Poetry Reading, here

Passionate Hearts Poetry Reading

Posted on May 6, 2022 by Lily McAndrews - Sex & Love

What a treat! Grab your honey and have a listen. In this classic recording, Wendy and Larry Maltz join Barbara LaMorticella, host of the Talking Earth Poetry Program, for a sweet, romantic reading of poems from Wendy’s acclaimed anthology, Passionate Hearts: The Poetry of Sexual Love.

Wendy discusses how the lack of examples of love-based sex in the media motivated her to create this beautiful collection of poems by highly-acclaimed traditional and contemporary poets.

Wendy tells a story about how difficult it was to find a publisher willing to accept this anthology because, as it was explained to her in one of many rejection letters, books on sexual love poetry don’t fit into the publishing categories of being either “raunch” or “romance.” As luck would have it, things changed when one editor had an extremely gratifying personal experience after reading the manuscript on a whim while on a ski trip with her boyfriend.

Wendy and Barbara discuss why poetry is a powerful medium for describing sexual intimacy due to the natural rhythms and sensual images it relies on.

About 13 minutes into the recording Wendy and Larry begin a beautifully choreographed reading of selected poems from the collection. Their choices follow the five chapters in the book, which represent the stages of sexual love couples experience during the course of life:

The “tender awakenings” of attraction and early sharing
The “passionate pleasures” of creating sexual joy together
The “varied dances” of sex in new circumstances
The “deeper intimacies” of sex as life experiences change, and,
The “graceful transformations” of sexual sharing later in life.

Listen to the poetry interview and reading below:

This program was originally broadcast on KBOO Radio in Portland, Oregon in 1996.

Note: Passionate Hearts went on to become an Amazon Bestseller in the Sex & Literature category. A ten-year anniversary edition of Passionate Hearts was released in 2007 with a special foreword by Barry McCarthy and a new cover (shown here).

Passionate Hearts paved the way for Wendy’s second anthology, Intimate Kisses: The Poetry of Sexual Pleasure. Listen to the Intimate Kisses Poetry Reading.

Hooked on Porn?

Posted on April 4, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Porn Problem Recovery

When does porn use become a serious problem? And what can you do to heal if you already know it is a concern? Dr. Nazanin Moali, sexuality expert and host of the Sexology Podcast, invites Wendy back on her program to talk about porn addiction and recovery. They discuss the pros and cons of porn use, how to recognize serious problems, the impact on intimate partners, and what it takes to personally and sexually heal when a person wants out of porn. This is a lively discussion filled with straight talk and an abundance of sexual healing specifics.

In this episode, you will hear:

Is porn usage problematic?
The consequences of using porn compulsively
How we weren’t ready as a society for the amount of porn the internet provided
How between 8-15% of people who use porn will go on to develop a problem with it
Steps that can be taken to deal with unhealthy porn use
Recovering from porn addiction
Hearing how a listener’s husband went through the process of recovery
Ongoing side effects, such as not being able to have sex without images of porn
How mindfulness and yoga can help with recovery
Sexually reconnecting with your partner after porn addiction

Hooked on Porn? Dr. Nazanin Moali with Wendy Maltz, Sexology Podcast, Episode 107, 1-22-2019.

Listen here

Quitting Porn and Overcoming Porn-Related Problems

Posted on April 3, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Porn Problem Recovery

Gary Wilson, host of the radio show, Your Brain in the CyberSex Jungle, and Wendy continue their discussion of today’s porn (in Episode 6) and explore the sexual recovery issues people face when they move to quit porn. They emphasize the importance of becoming educated about porn in order to come out of shame and isolation and get help. The shame men feel is less about sex, and more about feeling ashamed that they have lost control over their own sexuality.

In this follow-up interview Wendy and Gary discuss:

The common problems people run into when they try to quit
Why denial is the first stage of recovery
Recognizing the dependency on porn
Underestimating the power of porn
Quitting porn can be as difficult as quitting smoking….it’s tough
Going back to using porn is easy given all the sexual stimulation in the media
There are lots of rationalizations that support continued porn use
Whether or not it’s a good idea to masturbate when quitting porn
How to approach touch and sex in a new way
How to reconnect your penis with your heart and feelings
How to be more present and in your body
How to open to full-body sensuality

Listen to Episode 11, 12-11-2012 here.

Opening the Door to Sexual Fantasies

Posted on April 2, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Understanding Sexual Fantasies

Tapping into the power of sexual fantasies is a doorway to our deepest selves, where profound healing can be met with ecstatic play. In this riveting conversation, Wendy Strgar, host of the Opening Door radio show, talks with Wendy Maltz about sexual fantasy to better understand and appreciate this mysterious realm of human experience. Together they reveal how exploring our sexual fantasies can provide us with insights into our innermost thoughts, feelings, needs, and delights.

Join the two Wendys in exploring:

The types of sexual fantasy concerns people share in therapy
How sexual fantasies are like dreams
Why it’s difficult to acknowledge and talk about our sexual fantasies
How early experiences can influence our sexual fantasies
How to get more comfortable with your sexual fantasies
Why sexual fantasizing is not “cheating” on a partner
Whether or not it’s a good idea to act out sexual fantasies
How to take a closer look at your sexual fantasies to heal ones that bother you

Listen here

or here (mp3)

Sexual Fantasies, Wendy Strgar interviews Wendy Maltz, The Opening Door, Show 20, 2-9-2013

The Soul of Sexual Poetry

Posted on March 30, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Media Interviews, Sex & Love

How can sexual love poetry enrich our sexual lives, relationships, and sensual experiences? Find out in this wonderfully engaging conversation between Francesca Gentille, host of the Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra podcast, and Wendy Maltz, author/editor of two award-winning sexual love poetry anthologies – Passionate Hearts: The Poetry of Sexual Love and Intimate Kisses: The Poetry of Sexual Pleasure. Their unique discussion is peppered with Wendy reading poems from her collections by well-known poets, such as Marge Piercy, Octavio Pax, Nikki Giovanni, and others — and Francesca sharing insights on love and soul-connected sex from her many years teaching Tantric sexual practices.

Topics covered include:

How Wendy’s interest in sexual love poetry emerged from her counseling work with survivors of sexual abuse and others.
How people use the collections for sex education, healing, and inspiration
The pleasure and value of reading sexual love poetry aloud to a partner
How erotic poetry is able to describe sex well because it highlights elements in nature and “blends the senses”
The yin-yang beauty and nature of touch
How creating the collections inspired Wendy to write her own erotic poems

Personal Life Media, Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra podcast, Episode 40: 2007.

Listen to the podcast interview here

Listen and read a transcript here

Is Porn Wrong?

Posted on March 30, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Media Interviews, Porn Problem Recovery

Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond, hosts of the WBUR Dear Sugars Podcast, share a lively discussion with Wendy Maltz on National Public Radio about the personal and relationship problems porn is causing and whether or not it’s a good idea to use it. This interview is so popular it has been repeatedly aired several times over the years. This episode was originally published on December 1, 2016. It features questions from listeners.

Situations discussed include:

A happily married man who goes online to masturbate to porn three times a week and wonders if it is harming him and his marriage, even though he is honest with his wife about what he’s doing.

A woman in her late 20s is concerned about how much her boyfriend uses porn and how at times he seems to prefer it over being with her.

Cheryl, Steve, and Wendy go into detail about the different perspectives on porn that users and nonusers often have, the impact of a porn problem on an intimate partner, feelings of ambivalence concerning porn, and the challenges porn use can present to a couple when there is a desire for deeper emotional closeness. Wendy provides insight and tools for evaluating whether or not porn is causing serious problems or could in the future. Intelligent and rich, this conversation goes deep.

Redux: Is Porn Wrong? WBUR, 3-27-2021

Listen here

Let’s Talk about Sex: Sexual Nature, Harm and Healing

Posted on January 21, 2022 by Lily McAndrews - Featured, Sex & Love

Expand your thinking about all things sexual and sexy. Listen to Wendy’s engaging and comprehensive presentation to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health.

“Let’s Talk about Sex: Sexual Nature, Harm, and Healing” is the title of Wendy’s acclaimed keynote to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) in 2015. In this special conference presentation, Wendy takes a comprehensive look at human sexuality from interpersonal, biological, sociological, and psychological perspectives. Wendy shares her view of sex as a powerful energy – infinite, mysterious, and life-changing. She reveals the unique nature of sex, encourages us to expand how we think about sex and the role it plays in our lives.

Topics covered in the presentation:

1. Sex as powerful energy and how Wendy chose the field of sex therapy

2. Factors in healthy sexual development

3. Important features of sexual anatomy, physiology, and functioning

4. Sexual orientations and forms of sexual expression

5. The role of different hormones

6. Sex beyond reproduction – sexual pleasure and love-based sex

7. Sex as an active learning and conditioning process

8. The ways culture influences sexual attitudes and behaviors

9. Challenges to healthy sexuality – abuse, addiction, disease, lack of protection and education

10. How sexual abuse and compulsive behaviors support one another

11. What is involved and needed in sexual healing and recovery

12. The importance of sexual learning and healing resources

Listen to this 1 hour 10 min presentation below: