Library items

Sexual Healing After #MeToo

Posted on January 17, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Sexual Abuse Healing

How can counselors and therapists help survivors to heal sexual problems? Dr. Megan Speciale, the host of The Thoughtful Counselor podcast, sits down with Wendy to discuss sexual healing in the era of the #MeToo movement. Megan, an Assistant Professor in the Counseling Program at Palo Alto University has worked as a professional counselor and advocate in a variety of community settings, focusing primarily on sexual health and wellness.

In this episode of her podcast, Megan and Wendy focus the conversation on what counselors need to know who are helping survivors of sexual heal from the intimate repercussions of their past abuse. Wendy shares many ideas, effective strategies, and innovative interventions for intimate healing now that society has entered the #MeToo era.

Megan and Wendy discuss how to support survivors’ sexual wellness after abuse, including specific strategies that you can use with your clients and loved ones to support their process of healing. The dive deep into talking about the affect of sexual abuse on sexuality, the healing process, resources for recovery, readiness for healing, and therapist do’s and don’ts.

Topics covered include:

How awareness of sex and sexual abuse has changed in the last few decades
How to approach sexual issues with clients without triggering trauma-related reactions
How to help normalize a survivor’s feelings and reactions
How therapists can address unconscious power dynamics and encourage the survivor to be in control of their own therapy
How a survivor’s anger can be reframed and channeled to initiate and energize healing
How therapists can help survivors reclaim their power and define sexuality for themselves
How new insights about one’s sexuality can lead to profound positive change and healing
How the healing process is about reconditioning, and that takes time
How relearning touch exercises are essential to full healing
How to know when a client is ready to do active healing work on touch and sex
How to be sensitive to flashbacks and triggers, and shift out of relearning touch when needed
How to encourage and support, without pushing or controlling
Why sexual healing is a slow process, and can’t be rushed
How counselors can build their own confidence and competence in doing this work
How to tailor the strategies and interventions to meet the individual needs of clients
How to create safety in session by honoring boundaries
How to find support in the local and national therapeutic community for doing this work

Sexual Healing After #MeToo – Conversations on What Counselors Need to Know, Megan Speciale with Wendy Maltz and Jimanekia Eborn, The Thoughtful Counselor, podcast Episode 97, 9-12-2018.

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In the last 30 minutes of this podcast episode, Megan has an illuminating conversation with Jimanekia Eborn, a sexual health advocate and trauma expert on how unresolved shame from sexual abuse can hamper a person’s ability to connect with others and enjoy life.

Sexual Trauma and Relationships after Abuse

Posted on January 17, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Sexual Abuse Healing

Luis Congdon and Kamala Chambers are gifted relationship coaches and hosts of the Thriving Launch/Lasting Love Connection Podcast. They believe the impact of sexual abuse is the most important topic that couples are not talking about enough. Shame and secrecy get in the way. In this interview, they ask Wendy to help them understand the relationship issues, sexual healing techniques, and basic principles involved in sexual recovery. Special attention is paid to understanding the perspectives of female survivors who are in relationships with male partners. Listen in to find out how it’s possible for anyone to overcome negative repercussions with patience, smarts, teamwork, and new touch experiences – and why Wendy’s favorite saying is, “Love is stronger than abuse”

Topics covered include:

How to get started in sexual healing

Overcoming shame and secrecy

How partners can make it safe for a survivor to open up

Men’s understandable, yet sometimes counterproductive, reactions to abuse

How intimate partners can be most helpful in healing

Techniques for dealing with upsetting reactions to touch and abuse memories

The importance of a partner being present, positive and encouraging

How to approach and initiate touch experiences

What male survivors experience and need in sexual healing

Sexual Trauma and Relationships after Abuse, Luis Congdon with Wendy Maltz, Thriving Launch Podcast/Lasting Love Connection, 2-15-2017.

Listen below and find out more about this podcast interview, here

Healthy Sexual Intimacy in a Loving Relationship

Posted on January 17, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Porn Problem Recovery, Sex & Love, Sexual Abuse Healing, Understanding Sexual Fantasies

Singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette and Wendy Maltz share a warm and friendly discussion about healthy sexuality. They are both survivors of sexual abuse who value family life, parenting, and intimacy in a committed loving relationship. The ideas they share reflect years of learning and healing. They know what it’s like to overcome past challenges and develop new, healthy approaches to sex and love. This natural, heartfelt, empowering conversation educates as well as inspires.

Topics covered include:

The importance of addressing sexual issues
The prevalence and problems caused by sex abuse
Learning new ways of thinking about sex and sexual relationships
How sexual touch is part of a continuum of touch
Sexual media influences and messages that need to be countered
Ideas for teaching healthy ideas about sex to kids
When and how a break from sex can be healing
Addressing porn and sexual fantasy concerns
Connecting sex with love and friendship
Safety and satisfaction in a loving relationship

“Conversation with Alanis: Interview with Wendy Maltz.” Episode #5, 2-11-2016

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Healing from Sexual Assault

Posted on January 17, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Sexual Abuse Healing

Dr. Nazanin Moali, a caring therapist and the host of the Sexology Podcast, believes it’s crucial that people become more comfortable discussing issues that have to do with sexual abuse and assault so that healing can occur.

In this episode, Nazanin interviews Wendy Maltz to find out more about the impact of sexual assault on sexual intimacy and the steps people can take to recover. They identify some common myths about sexual assault, various impacts of abuse on sexual intimacy, healing methods, culture’s impact, and what it feels like to develop and reclaim healthy sexuality. Wendy also shares her own personal and professional story and the next steps one can take to rediscover the joy of sexual intimacy after experiencing sexual assault.

In this episode, you will learn more about:

The common myths that exist around sexual assault
How people can blame themselves for something they didn’t have control over
The issue and complications around consent
How being sexually assaulted can affect a person’s outlook on sex
Common sexual challenges that survivors face
Ways in which you can support a partner who’s been sexually assaulted
Discovering when you are ready to go on the sexual healing journey
It’s possible to still enjoy sex after being assaulted

Healing from Sexual Assault with Wendy Maltz LCSW, Sexology Podcast, Episode 35, 2017.

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Creating New Sexual Fantasies

Posted on January 17, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Understanding Sexual Fantasies

Whether we’re aware of it or not, like dreams, our sexual fantasies change all the time. For example, you may watch a sexy scene in a movie in the afternoon and then find it slipping into your thoughts later on when you are resting, self-pleasuring or making love. Or a conversation with a friend about an old flame may result in that person showing up in your fantasies.

The specifics of how our sexual fantasies play out can also be easily influenced by the different types of sexual media we come in contact with. Someone who watches a lot of pornography may find their fantasies filled with the images they’ve seen on screen. Someone who reads lots of hot, sexy romance novels may discover that their erotic thoughts mimic and replay the descriptions they have read. If you’re not exposed to much erotic media, your fantasies will probably be more inspired by your own past sexual experiences and your imagination.

During my research and clinical work on sexual fantasy for my book, Private Thoughts, I was intrigued to discover that many people are drawn to sexual fantasies that in some way recreate the excitement they felt when they were young and first became aware of their own sexual arousal. One woman told me that her sexual awakening happened when she sat on a jet of water in a hot tub when she was twelve. Today, her sexual fantasies often feature rushing waters and humming sounds. Many people told me that the themes and images they saw in pornographic videos (and magazines for some older folks) as inquisitive teenagers still play a role in their sexual thoughts today.

A two-step process

It makes sense that our early exposures and experiences impact how our minds create our sexual fantasies. Fantasizing relies on a two-step process:

Step 1: Entertaining a specific thought, and,

Step 2: Combining that thought with pleasurable genital stimulation.

Sometimes it’s the thoughts that trigger the pleasurable sensations and sometimes it’s the sensations that trigger the specific thoughts. Either way, the two become strongly linked together over time. And when these thought-sensation combinations are repeated and result in all the feel-good chemicals released during orgasm, the fantasy is powerfully strengthened. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers possible in the human experience.

Even though our sexual fantasies are forming and changing on their own, without much conscious awareness on our part, there are times and circumstances when you might want to play a more active role in what you fantasize about. Perhaps you want to:

experience more fun and pleasure
feel less inhibited in how you think and behave sexually
experience novelty and sexual variation in a safe way
be more sexually expressive and creative
move away from disturbing and unwanted sexual fantasies
increase sexual attraction and desire for a current partner

Creating new sexual fantasies is a process that takes time, but you can take steps – small and large – to have more control over what plays out in your erotic imagination. For example, you can spend a few minutes contemplating the ideas, feelings, and sensations that turn you on. Or you can write (on paper or just mentally) your own sexual fantasy story, with detailed sexual scenarios and characters. There are many types of sexual fantasies possible, so options are as wide and diverse as you want to go in your imagination. In general, it is a good idea to focus on themes and interactions that leave you feeling good. Give yourself permission to stop sexual thoughts and imagery you don’t like and shift your thinking to ideas and images that you like better. Keep in mind that sexual fantasies lose power when they are no longer coupled with genital stimulation, and they gain and maintain power, when they are.

Sexual fantasizing happens in a semi-dreamlike state – in which we are entranced by thoughts, as well as sensations. The idea of exercising a degree of conscious choice and control may seem counterintuitive. But, like with many pleasurable experiences, such as painting, cooking, and creating music, sexual fantasizing involves blending both conscious and unconscious experience. Your “masterpiece” at the end might not turn out exactly as you expected, but if it brings you pleasure, that’s all that matters. And don’t freak out if strange or surprising ideas pop into your mind on occasion, like with any creative and imaginative endeavor, this can sometimes happen.

Ideas for inspiring new sexual fantasies:

1. Use a sexual dream you enjoyed as a jumping-off point. Replay the dream in your mind, savoring the sexy and sensual parts.

2. Recall a previous enjoyable sexual experience. Focus on as many details as possible: what was said, where you were, how your partner’s skin felt, how you both moved, etc.

3. Identify the sensory elements such as sight, sound, and touch that you find most erotic and include them in your fantasizing.

4. Imagine your partner (or future partner) is touching you and caressing you on all the favorite places on your body. Take it further and imagine they willing to pleasure you any way you want.

5. Put yourself into a movie or novel you find sexy. Imagine yourself as one or more of the characters.

6. Put yourself in a different kind of role. If you envision yourself normally as passive, think active. If you’re active, imagine passive.

7. Imagine sex from a different perspective (Being outside the action as a voyeur or engaged in the action as an active participant)

8. Imagine having sex with an ideal lover or in an ideal setting

Remember, creating conscious sexual fantasies is a fun, experimental process. You write the script, play the film in your head, and maybe leave a few scenes on the editing floor if they don’t work out. You can be the director of your sexual thoughts and create a world of pleasure and sensuality just for you or for you and a partner.

Note: For more on this topic, Private Thoughts devotes a whole chapter to creating new sexual fantasies.

Healing Unwanted Sexual Fantasies

Posted on January 17, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Featured, Understanding Sexual Fantasies

“Look closer to heal” is the main message in this article for people who are troubled by unwanted sexual fantasies. Here you will find information about upsetting fantasies—where they come from, why they exist—as well as how to reduce their power, explore their meaning, and change them if that is your goal.

Sexual fantasies are universal

Like dreaming, sexual fantasizing is a natural and normal part of being human. Approximately 95 percent of men and women report having sexual fantasies. Sexual fantasies occur during daydreaming, masturbation, and sexual activity with a partner. For most people, sexual fantasizing is a healthy aspect of being sexually alive. Fantasies reduce anxiety while increasing sexual interest and enjoyment. They can function in many positive ways, such as by stimulating sex drive, improving self-esteem, and enhancing intimacy with a partner. People report that their most satisfying sexual fantasies are arousing, fun, and within their conscious control.

When fantasies are disturbing

Many people are bothered by fantasies that intrude on sexual experiences like unwanted guests at a party. These fantasies are upsetting because they do not feel optional and within one’s control. They often contain erotic thoughts and images that are disturbing to the person having the fantasy. For example, a person may be upset by a fantasy that involves hurtful sexual activities or sex with a person they dislike. Unwanted sexual fantasies are also disturbing in that people may become dependent on them for arousal and sexual release. Being stuck with a troubling fantasy is definitely not fun. These unwelcome and unwanted erotic thoughts are the nightmares of sexual fantasies.

If left untreated, unwanted sexual fantasies can cause many problems. They can lower self-esteem, lead to risky sexual behavior, cause sexual functioning problems, and harm intimacy with a partner.

Where fantasies come from and what they mean

Unwanted sexual fantasies often result from upsetting relationships and disturbing sexual experiences one had in the past. Similar to nightmares, unwanted sexual fantasies often represent unconscious attempts to resolve feelings that resulted from experiences of human aggression, betrayal, abandonment, and exploitation. They temporarily help people escape from emotions that inhibit sexual functioning, such as such as fear, anger, shame, and powerlessness.

Not surprisingly, a large number of people who were sexually victimized in the past report being troubled by unwanted sexual fantasies. (See The Sexual Healing Journey) One research study found that females who have been molested tend to have more fantasies of being forced or dominated, than their non-abused peers. And the more extreme and violent the abuse, the more likely a survivor of sexual abuse will have sexual fantasies of being forced in sex or forcing someone else in sex.

How to get rid of unwanted sexual fantasies

A number of effective techniques now exist for helping men and women get rid of sexual fantasies they find disturbing. These techniques are described in Wendy’s book, Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women’s Sexual Fantasies. They include:

Analyzing the fantasy

This strategy involves looking closely at the contents of an unwanted sexual fantasy from many angles until a person finds what core confusion or unresolved emotional issue it represents. Specific techniques may include drawing or diagramming the fantasy and exploring the characters, plot, themes, and relationships it contains.

Reducing the need for fantasy

This strategy involves identifying and practicing those things that make a person less susceptible to a fantasy’s intrusion. One way to accomplish this is to reduce stress by setting aside more time for sexual experiences. Another is to remove the pressure to climax in a sexual encounter and focus instead on sensual pleasuring and emotional closeness. Increasing sexual stimulation through other means such as deep breathing, erotic movement, and unpressured foreplay can also help.

Disrupting the function

In this strategy, a person seriously interferes with the ability of the unwanted sexual fantasy to arouse. Usually, this involves stopping sexual activity whenever the fantasy is present and only resuming activity when one feels relaxed and able to be present in sex without it. Rendered ineffectual, the fantasy eventually becomes extinct.

Transforming the fantasy

This strategy involves bending the contents of the fantasy to reflect healthy dynamics in sexual relations. Details in the fantasy changed. Negative elements are slowly replaced by more positive images and ideas. Bondage with ropes becomes bondage with big spaghetti noodles. Sex between a minor and an older adult becomes sex between two adults of differing ages, and so forth. The key to transforming an unwanted sexual fantasy is to maintain erotic sensory elements while shifting towards healthier conditions for sexuality. (See The CERTS Model for Healthy Sex)

Healing unwanted sexual fantasies allows a person to free their sexuality from burdensome emotional conflicts related to the past. When sexual fantasies are fun and optional people are able to enjoy them in new ways – ways that enhance self-esteem, intimacy, and sensual pleasure.

(To learn more about the power of erotic thoughts and healing unwanted sexual fantasies see Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women’s Sexual Fantasies, coauthored with Suzie Boss and published in 2007 by BookSurge and available in a Kindle edition by New World Library.)

Fascinating Facts about Sexual Fantasies

Posted on January 14, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Featured, Understanding Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasy is like any other area of human sexual experience — the more you know about it, the more comfortable and relaxed you are considering what role, if any, you want it to play in your life.

This checklist is a great way to test, and increase, your knowledge about sexual fantasies. If you’re in a relationship, consider making it a fun exercise by taking turns responding to each item. The checklist can help open discussion and create mutual understandings that in turn can enhance your sexual experiences.

Did you know this?

__ 1. Nearly all men and women sexually fantasize.

__ 2. Sexual thoughts occur in daydreaming, masturbation, and during sexual activity with a partner.

__ 3. Sexual fantasy is enabled by the hormone testosterone.

__ 4. Sexual fantasies range from fleeting sensory thoughts to highly developed sexual scenarios that play like porn movies or scenes in romance novels.

__ 5. Some people employ a little fantasy in sex while others employ a lot.

__ 6. Some sexual fantasies are intentionally created or recalled to enhance arousal, while others spontaneously arise as products of the excitation and trance state induced by sexual arousal.

__ 7. Sometimes sexual fantasies can be so powerful they produce an orgasm with no physical stimulation.

__ 8. Sexual fantasies vary from being a random, inconsequential form of entertainment – fun fluff – to being very specific, emotionally profound, and psychologically impactful.

__ 9. Like dreams, sexual fantasies can reflect unconscious desires, fears, curiosities, regrets, challenges, and needs.

__ 10. The inner world of sexual fantasy is like an imaginary playground where erotic thoughts can run wild, free from social condemnation, and harmful consequences.

__ 11. Like dreams, sexual fantasies have subconscious elements, themes, symbols, functions, that when explored, may have little to do with sex.

__ 12. Sexual fantasies can be easily influenced and shaped by actual sexual experiences, as well as by the sexual imagery and ideas found in books, television, movies, magazines, and pornography.

__ 13. In general, sexual fantasies help to increase sexual arousal while decreasing sexual anxiety.

__ 14. Sexual fantasies can function in a variety of ways that go beyond simply increasing sexual arousal. For example, they can enhance self-esteem, rehearse possibilities, recall fond memories, satisfy curiosities, facilitate relaxation, help cope with past trauma, and more.

__ 15. Like with dreams, it is up to the person who creates the sexual fantasy to determine what it means and how it is impacting their lives.

__ 16. People describe a sexual fantasy as problematic for numerous reasons, such as when it decreases their self-esteem, conflicts with personal values, interferes with being sensually present, decreases intimacy with a partner, encourages risky and harmful activity, and more.

__ 17. Like with nightmares, some sexual fantasies are troublesome and cause continuing distress until they can be psychologically examined, understood, and changed.

__ 18. It’s helpful when both people in a relationship are educated about sexual fantasies before sharing and discussing them, to avoid misunderstandings about what they mean.

__ 19. People can be disappointed when acting out a sexual fantasy because in real life, unlike in the realm of fantasy, it’s impossible to control and choreograph all factors, elements, and repercussions of the sexual experience.

__ 20. In general, sexual fantasy is a magnificent human capability that serves as a powerful aide and pleasurable accompaniment to sexual experience.

Communications Guidelines

Posted on January 14, 2022 by jack - Sex & Love

Good communication is crucial to healthy sexual relating. You can greatly increase feelings of mutual respect, emotional closeness, and sexual pleasure when you and your partner communicate well with each other. Knowing how to talk openly and comfortably helps you solve sexual problems that come up from time to time in the normal course of an on-going intimate relationship.

Be patient with yourself and your partner as you work to develop new communication skills. It takes time and a lot of practice to open up emotionally and discuss personal topics in safe and sensitive ways.

Healthy Sex Communications Guidelines

Both partners need to make a commitment to engage in a discussion about intimate concerns.
Choose a quiet time for discussion when you are not likely to be interrupted. Give your undivided attention to being with your partner.
Sit reasonably close to each other and maintain eye contact. Be aware of the tone and volume of your voice.
Avoid blaming, name-calling, accusations and sarcasm.
Deal with only one issue at a time.
State specifically and clearly what you feel and need. Use “I statements”, rather than “you statements.” (Example: Say “I felt rejected when you didn’t want to hug last night” rather than “You’re so cold; the way you treat me is cruel.”)
Maintain an optimistic perspective that change is possible. Avoid bringing up resentments from the distant past. Refrain from using the words “always” or “never”.
Listen to your partner. Strive to understand each other’s feelings and needs. Communicate that understanding to your partner. (You can communicate understanding and still have a different opinion or perspective than your partner).
When discussing sexual intimacy concerns, keep in mind that partners are apt to feel scared, embarrassed, or hurt. Emphasize what you like and what works well before making a new request or discussing something that bothers you.
Avoid getting sidetracked on irrelevant issues; “It happened last summer.” “No, it was the summer before.” Refrain from “I’m right, you’re wrong” arguments.
Explore and discuss various options for change. Work together to brainstorm how individual needs can be met and feelings addressed more effectively. Make the issue the “problem”, not each other.
See intimate problems as a normal, natural part of a relationship. Turn them into opportunities to learn and grow as a couple.
If you and your partner agree to a solution to the problem, try it out, then plan to discuss in the near future how the solution is working for both of you.
Give yourselves permission to table discussion of an issue if you feel no progress is being made. You each may get new insights and understandings thinking about it independently. Make sure you resume discussion within several days.
Seek professional help when needed. Don’t allow unresolved sexual issues to fester and erode your positive feelings for each other.

Sexual Love Poetry

Posted on January 14, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Featured, Sex & Love

Positive sexual images and ideas can be hard to find. Here are some poems from Wendy Maltz’s bestselling poetry anthologies and some of her favorite quotes on healthy sexuality.

In the early 1990’s sex and relationship therapist Wendy Maltz began a search to find examples of healthy sexual intimacy to share with couples who wanted to learn more. She scoured films, video selections, popular books, and magazines for images that portrayed sex as mutually enjoyable, socially responsible, and physically safe.

Wendy was shocked at how few examples of healthy sex she could find. It wasn’t until she began sifting through and collecting poetry that she discovered “heartcore” poems; poems in which heart connection is at the core of the sexual experience.

Wendy’s quest for healthy sex descriptions eventually lead her to compile and edit two award-winning poetry anthologies: Passionate Hearts: The Poetry of Sexual Love and Intimate Kisses: The Poetry of Sexual Pleasure. These collections inspire and celebrate healthy sexual intimacy.

WOMAN BATHING

by Raymond Carver

Natches River. Just below the falls.
Twenty miles from any town. A day
of dense sunlight
heavy with odors of love.
How long have we?
Already your body, sharpness of Picasso,
is drying in this highland air.
I towel down your back, your hips,
with my undershirt.
Time is a mountain lion.
We laugh at nothing,
and as I touch your breasts
even the ground-
squirrels
are dazzled.

DESIRE

by Connemara Wadsworth

Taking off
my clothes
piece by piece,
I turn to you,
unwrap my body,
feel you trace
its contours
with your fingers.
I am accustomed
to covering,
what I now bare,
watch you waken
and wash me
with your eyes.
I feel the cloth
of your skin,
uncovered,
inviting me in,
feel your breath
warm in my ear.
I lean closer
into you, feel
your blood surge
as you hold me
and I echo
the beat pulling
on us as I wrap
my legs around you
and open as morning
glories do
when the sun
warms them.

TWIN FLAMES

by James Broughton

Embers of night flare up afresh
when you ignite the morning in my arms
and kindle the familiar hearth of love

Year after year we have warmed our lives
around the mystery of mutual fire
that heats our domain of risk and rapture

Whenever scorched however scarred
we hearten heal reconflagrate
Twin flames ever in blissful blaze.

from Intimate Kisses:

THE ENJOYMENT

by Anon

Ye gods! the raptures of that night!
What fierce convulsions of delight!
How in each other’s arms involved
We lay confounded and dissolved!
Bodies mingling, sexes blending,
Which should be most lost contending,
Darting fierce and flaming kisses,
Plunging into boundless blisses,
Our bodies and our souls on fire,
Tossed by a tempest of desire
Till with utmost fury driven
Down, at once, we sunk to heaven.

AFTER NEW HAMPSHIRE

by Rosemary Klein

Folded into each other,
origami hearts, love
knots. Each time
I never believe
we will get any closer.
Afternoon lowers
her eyes as dusk
steals across the vision
of us, still touching.
Silk light.
Silk laughter.
My body floods
its boundaries.
You hold me through
each shudder, each
moan, my head tucked
into your chest, my legs
wrapped around your body,
my body filled with light,
my body light. Past
freedom and individuality
and the delight of my own
opinions, beyond serenity
and rock n’ roll, there is
happiness and I have found
its natural habitat beneath
your kiss and only
in your arms.

LOVE POEM

by Sarah Brown Weitzman

From here those slaps of color unravel
form you said and stepped back
from the Monet to see the separate strokes
fall into water and lilies again.
Shards of light take the eye to blossoms
pale as breasts. Sky, leaf, water, flower
merge and waver, blur then clear
as each takes something from the other
to reflect or repeat so that not a single
moment is preserved but several.

Later in the splay of late afternoon
we repeat that painting.
The spread blooms of our bodies
blend and shift and merge again until
we know as Monet knew in the crystal rush
of water over the sun-glazed lilies
the radiance of an instant.

Let’s Talk about Sex: Sexual Nature, Harm and Healing

Posted on January 14, 2022 by Wendy Maltz - Uncategorized

Expand your thinking about all things sexual and sexy. Listen to Wendy’s engaging and comprehensive presentation to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health.

“Let’s Talk about Sex: Sexual Nature, Harm, and Healing” is the title of Wendy’s acclaimed keynote to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) in 2015. In this special conference presentation, Wendy takes a comprehensive look at human sexuality from interpersonal, biological, sociological, and psychological perspectives. Wendy shares her view of sex as a powerful energy – infinite, mysterious, and life-changing. She reveals the unique nature of sex, encourages us to expand how we think about sex and the role it plays in our lives.

Here is an outline of what Wendy covers in the presentation:

1. Sex as powerful energy and how Wendy chose the field of sex therapy

2. Factors in healthy sexual development

3. Important features of sexual anatomy, physiology, and functioning

4. Sexual orientations and forms of sexual expression

5. The role of different hormones

6. Sex beyond reproduction – sexual pleasure and love-based sex

7. Sex as an active learning and conditioning process

8. The ways culture influences sexual attitudes and behaviors

9. Challenges to healthy sexuality – abuse, addiction, disease, lack of protection and education

10. How sexual abuse and compulsive behaviors support one another

11. What is involved and needed in sexual healing and recovery

12. The importance of sexual learning and healing resources

Topics covered include:

Topics covered include:

Topics covered include:

In this episode, you will learn more about:

A two-step process

Ideas for inspiring new sexual fantasies:

Sexual fantasies are universal

When fantasies are disturbing

Where fantasies come from and what they mean

How to get rid of unwanted sexual fantasies

Analyzing the fantasy

Reducing the need for fantasy

Disrupting the function

Transforming the fantasy

Did you know this?

Healthy Sex Communications Guidelines

WOMAN BATHING

DESIRE

TWIN FLAMES

THE ENJOYMENT

AFTER NEW HAMPSHIRE

LOVE POEM

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