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About the Healthy Sex Blog

Welcome to the Healthy Sex blog. Here we share the latest news and information about Wendy’s media interviews, presentations, and publications. You can find blog posts listed according to topic categories such as Sex & Love, Sex Abuse Healing, Sexual Fantasy, Porn Recovery, Reflections on Sex, and more – as well as by the date posted.

Reflections on Sex (RoS) posts

“Reflections on Sex” is a special category of blog posts featured in the Healthy Sex blog. It is sometimes referred to using the abbreviation, RoS. These blog posts serve as a running column, like a newspaper column. In these writings, Wendy shares the most fascinating ideas and insights she gained about sex in her more than forty years of work as a sex educator and therapist. New “Reflections on Sex” blog posts are published periodically and are highlighted on this page. To find out as soon as one is posted follow Wendy Maltz on Twitter or Facebook for announcements.

“Reflections on Sex” provides me an exciting opportunity to examine sex from old and new perspectives and share stories and ideas I haven’t written about before. I’m eager to tell you about the people, experiences, and discoveries that caught my attention and influenced my life. I hope you will find my observations entertaining as well as informative. Perhaps they will inspire you to reflect on your own journey with sex, how your views about it have changed, and what sex means to you.

Wendy Maltz

Healthy Sex Blog

Irish Times advice: Read The Porn Trap

Posted on December 1, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Porn Problem Recovery, Uncategorized

Illustration: Todd Davidson/The Image Bank via Getty Images

Can a porn habit get in the way of a healthy sex and social life? You bet it can. A young man recently wrote Trish Murphy of the Irish Times that he feels his use of porn has made him anxious about, as well as disinterested in, the real thing.  Murphy responded to him in her popular advice column, suggesting that he not only get help to quit porn, using The Porn Trap as a resource, but also that he get some help to overcome his social anxiety. Sadly, this man’s story is not uncommon, as we increasingly hear from young people who have never had real, human-to-human sex, that their heavy involvement with porn has given them a serious handicap when it comes to forming a sexual relationship. The good news is that once porn is no longer controlling the experience, change is possible.

CLICK HERE to link to the advice column article, “Tell Me About It: My life is slipping away from me due to my porn habit.”

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Wendy’s Couples Sexual Healing Videos — Watch Here for Free

Posted on November 2, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Sexual Abuse Healing

We are pleased to announce that, as a gift to survivors and others, Wendy’s two highly-acclaimed sexual healing videos, “Relearning Touch” and “Partners in Healing,” are now available for free viewing here at HealthySex.com. The videos were co-produced with Intervision Media, a Eugene-based business, and have a long-history of being used and praised in therapeutic, educational, and individual self-help settings. Read their amazing reviews, learn more, and if you like, view them by visiting their pages on this site.

“Relearning Touch: Healing Techniques for Couples”
discusses and sensitively demonstrates the ground-breaking, highly beneficial relearning touch exercises described in Wendy’s book,  The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse.

 

 

 

“Partners in Healing: Couples Overcoming the Sexual Repercussions of Incest”
focuses on the crisis in intimacy faced by couples and how they learn to work as a team in healing.

 

 

 

Hand to Heart exercise demonstrated in “Relearning Touch” video

 

 

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Alanis Morisette recommends Private Thoughts

Posted on October 29, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Sexual Abuse Healing, Understanding Sexual Fantasies

Alanis Morisette

How cool is this? The very talented and socially conscious singer, songwriter Alanis Morisette recommends Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women’s Sexual Fantasies in her blog. A big supporter of efforts to realize sex as a healthy, positive aspect of life, Alanis writes, “This book explores fantasy and the purpose it serves and how it can enhance connection and pleasure and a sense of self.”

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Relationship Alive! podcast on Sexual Healing

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Media Interviews, Porn Problem Recovery, Sexual Abuse Healing

Are you dealing with the repercussions of past sexual abuse in an intimate relationship? Or concerned about a future relationship? If so, you will find lots of information, insights and advice listening to the engaging interview Wendy Maltz gave for the new podcast show, Relationship Alive! Hosted by Neil Sattin, his podcast is devoted to helping couples improve their relationship and have good sex lives. Wendy’s interview, “Deeper Intimacy Through Sexual Healing,” is pretty comprehensive, covering topics such as: What is sexual abuse and what are the sexual problems it can cause?, What is involved in healing sexual concerns, How to work as a team in sexual healing, and What are the key exercises that can help survivors and their intimate partners reclaim a healthy and enjoyable sexuality. This episode also focused on issues related to pornography and its impact. Wendy’s books, The Sexual Healing Journey, and, The Porn Trap, are discussed.

To listen to the podcast, CLICK HERE

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“Private Thoughts” in “O” Oprah Magazine

Posted on September 29, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Uncategorized

We’re delighted to report that Wendy’s book, Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women’s Sexual Fantasies (coauthored with writer Suzie Boss) received mention in the October 2015 issue of O, the Oprah Magazine (p. 127). Wendy was interviewed for a sidebar piece on “The Reality of Fantasy” which describes common types of women’s sexual fantasies as identified in the book. Wendy is quoted reflecting on the research she and Suzie did for the book, saying, “I was amazed by the wide range and level of creativity…You can never tell by the way a woman looks how rich and wild her fantasies are.”  Better believe it…too much fun!!!

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Wendy to Keynote SASH Conference – Philly 10/9/15

Posted on September 29, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Events, Porn Problem Recovery, Sexual Abuse Healing

Wendy Maltz will present a keynote lecture, “Let’s Talk About Sex: Sexual Nature, Harm, and Healing,” at the SASH conference on Friday October 9, 2015 at the Loews Hotel in Philadelphia. She plans to take the audience on a dynamic visual and story-telling journey to better understand what human sexuality is and how problems, such as sexual addiction, degrading pornography, and the experience of sexual abuse, interrelate and can reinforce one another. Wendy will identify key features of healthy sexual development and illuminate the power behind healthy sex principles and healing strategies. SASH stands for The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health.  Last year Wendy received the SASH Carnes Award for her decades of work in the sexual recovery field and with the award comes this invitation to present.

Lowes Hotel, Philadelphia, Pennsylvannia

For information on the conference, CLICK HERE

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Treating Military Sexual Trauma — New Book!

Posted on August 30, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Media Interviews, Reviews, Sexual Abuse Healing

Psychologist Lori S. Katz has just released an excellent and much-needed book,“Treating Military Sexual Trauma” (Springer Publishing, 2015). It features a chapter on healthy sexual functioning after military sexual trauma (MST) based on an interview Lori did with Wendy Maltz LCSW, DST.  The book addresses many aspects of recovery and covers topics such as understanding MST, neurobiology, sleep disorders, substance abuse recovery, body memories, cognitive processes, and the application of various counseling techniques for addressing the concerns of MST survivors. Kudos to Lori for creating such a comprehensive resource!

Treating Military Sexual Trauma by Lori S. Katz

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What’s Missing About Sex in Porn

Posted on June 22, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Media Interviews, Porn Problem Recovery

Nic DiDomizio, a Mic.com sex & relationship columnist, discusses some important drawbacks of watching today’s pornography in his article entitled, “One Tweet Sums Up What’s Missing About Sex When We Watch Porn”.  The article was inspired by a tweet by a man named Kristian who tweeted: “Is there any gay porn where they go out on a date, fall madly in love w each other, have passionate sex, and cuddle at the end?” In his article, Nic shares how pornography emphasizes body parts and stimulation and ignores the emotional and partner-oriented dimensions of sex that contribute to sexual satisfaction in relationships. Consequently, porn may handicap people who are raised and rely on it as a sexual outlet. Nic interviews Wendy, mentions The Porn Trap and let’s readers know that there is a way to make up for lost learning.

Nicolas DiDomizio for Mic.com

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Lasting Love Connection – Sexual Healing Interview

Posted on June 5, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Media Interviews, Sexual Abuse Healing

When couples suffer because they can’t open up about their sexual wounds it affects their intimacy. Wendy was recently interviewed by Luis Congdon on the hit marriage enrichment show – The LastingLoveConnection podcast. It’s featured many wonderful colleagues such as Dr. Harville Hendrix, Dr. Dan Siegel, Drs. John and Julie Gottman.

On the show we went in depth on how couples can support each other recover from sexual abuse. To listen to the show CLICK HERE or on the picture below:

 

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“What Sex After Sex Abuse Is Really Like” article

Posted on February 5, 2015 by Wendy Maltz - Media Interviews, Sexual Abuse Healing

Writer Tracy Clark-Flory provides readers a close look into the after-effects of sexual assault in a new article, “What Sex After Sexual Assault Is Really Like,” in the online magazine Refinery29. The piece features expert advice from sex therapist Wendy Maltz LCSW DST, and mentions, The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse as a resource. Clark-Flory also discusses the wisdom of Wendy’s “relearning touch” exercises and the importance of moving slowly back into being sexual when recovering from this type of trauma. To read the article, CLICK HERE

In another article, writer Lucia Peters of Bustle magazine praises Clark-Flory for breaking the silence on discussing the the real problems and lasting effects that can result from sexual assault. To read this follow-up article, CLICK HERE.

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